Life Without Nicole Day 7

Dear Nikki,

I have a few great news to tell you.
1. I added another 8 more metal thingy on my vest. I have 16 more left before it's full. I completed 50 flights the first go round. I was proud of myself. I feel I am alot stronger.
2. I almost done reading the new book that I bought. I should have bought the book to prevent what happened. I learnt alot from that book espcially the reasons why you decided to break up with me.

I met the Asian guy at the gym tonight. He gave me a good advise..Some are stupid, but I remember clearly what he said. 'If you love her, be there for her but don't put any hope of you to be togather. Be a friend to her' My decision to be your friend was right.

Why haven't you texted me back? How long are you going to avoid me. You know all you have to say are the words that I told you, and I will leave you alone forever. I feel like I am annoyance when I didn't hear from you. I decided not to text you today because of that feeling.

The book said that you probably suffering from BPD(borderline personality disorder). I am not a psy so asked yourself this questions:


1.Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

2.A pattern of unstabler and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3.Identity disturbance markedly and persistantly unstable self image or sense of self.

4.Impulsively in at least two areas that are potentially self damaging.(spending,sex,substance abuse,shoplifting,reckless driving,binge eating)

5.Reccurent suicidal behaviour,gestures or threats or self mutilating behaviour.

6.Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood(eg;intense episodic dysphoria,irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

7.Chronic feeling of emptiness

8.Inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.

9.Transient stress related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I in no way accusing you of any of this. I hope you can evaluate yourself and if you think your are suffereing BPD. I am here!I will go through therapy with you.

Refer to emotionally abusive relationship by Beverly Engel.pg 188
Love!