Life Without Nicole Day 11

Dear Nikki,



I used to have a fascination with the solar system when I was a kid. So fascinated that I even had this beautiful dream of me taking a train, and the train took me around the solar system. As I've get older, I realized that my dream actually come to reality. Even though the train do not really take me to the outer space they take me round the area where I live. I board this train every third day, and I called it the night train. Even though it's sometime I am physically exhausting riding this train, I had my eyes opened. I saw a lot of things that regular people don't usually see and to make it better, I actually be able to do something about it. I felt sense of joy after I went off board the train at 7 am the next morning. On board this train, I see a lot of people who are having more problems than I do. I felt useless and torn down for a minute problems, and I feel that these people need to be praised for their bravery and courage to live through another day.



As I pondered at my small little bunkroom hoping I could get some shut eyes three questions come to my mind.

1.Have you asked God what would be best?

2.What do you thiunk healthy communication should be like?

3.How would you want someone to treat you?



I am lost for answers at all these questions except for no 3. which is bad because I used to be treated badly,get used at and get mocked at so that person can feel better about themselves.
In this is mind, I bottled things up and keep everything to myself.

I am really vulnerable when I am emotionally distressed. I can't think of anything to make myself a happy person. Emotional wound takes longer to heal than physical wound. For the past few weeks my life has been going down the slope except for my strength.(I work out more when I am stressed out). People been labelling me at work,issues with my friend,decision that is going to affect my life. I feel all this is piling up on me, and I am about to break down.