Dear Nikki,
I finally have the courage to send you a text. I am really glad that I made you feel better. In my heart I was still hoping that you are wrong and you want to be togather again.
I felt a sense of peace after I talked to you. I was able to smile at the gym. I am happy that I challenged myself, and I let love take over my pride. Arrun, Steph and everyone else at the firehouse think I am and idiot. You can't rationalize your actions when you are in love.
After gym, I went to every places that we went to. I tried to trace back the day when we first dating for the first time. I bought a book at the forum called The emotionally abusive relationship by Beverly Engel. I don't know why I bought it. You know that I am not a reader. Is it beacause of the thing that you did that hurt me? or is it because I still want to know the reasons why you broke up with me. Is it because of your past.
" ting' my iphone make a sound. I looked at it and it was you. Your text. My eyes glow. I got excited. I am happy that you send me a text telling me that you are home safe. I am happy that you still think about me being worried about you. Why am I so stupid to let me hearts out and send you a nasty text saying that you abused me.
'I cannot lie to you. But its not what you want to hear. So I guess you can erase this:I still have feelings for you and I have not fallen for someone else.'. I was so Happy when You tell me this. I glad I texted you. I am glad that Jennifer was right. still I am in a bind. I couldn't let you go. I got so emotional when you told me that. I wasn't being sacarstic when I said I am gonna quote it on my blog. I am writing this blog.
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