Dear Nikki,
It's the sixth day since you are gone. I really think alot today. Why do I love you? What qualities do you have that make me love you. We are totally different. Do I love you because I found you a challange and I wanna rescue you from your past? Do I love you because you are physically attractive? Do I love you because I thought you can help me fixed my current problems?
When I woke up this morning I feel weird. I usually go to church with you every Sunday. I was tempted that I should go to your church today, sit beside you and pretend nothing happen and whisper in your ear...Do you want me to leave?. I started laughing at myself when I started to imagine the look in your face,how you going to feel. what you going to do. I lacked the courage to do it.
I went to mass as usual today. Father Jack told as that we should be saint and we need to go to the deep end and proclaim the gospel. I actually shed tears...because I havent done any of that.
I went home from mass. I miss you. I was hoping I could run into you at the gym today to give you a hug. I was hoping that I could be there with you at the party and you tell all your friends that I am your bf....I sent you a text to enjoy yourself at the party and bundlep up.
I finally decided. I've waited for you to accept me for 2 years. I will wait. How long are you going to make me wait this time?
I MISS YOU NIKKI!
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